back in action
"Real" life has slapped me in the face this week and told me to stop pretending like it's still vacation. I have to say "real" because let's face it, my life sometimes borders on ridiculously unreal. It has been hard to face the fact that I have three more months of uninterrupted working to do before I can return to the Motherland. Needless to say, it was less than difficult to habituate myself to a two week vacation period every 6 weeks. I'll start the countdown for this vacation-free hell: 86 days. Tick. Tock.
On to the important things. Without making myself look like an gullible idiot girl, I would like to present to you why I think 99% of French men are huge connards. Ladies, don't be fooled. Yes, there are a disproportionate amount of great looking men in Paris. And YES. They are all as big of assholes as you can imagine. I have met more beautiful frenchmen than I can count that have a little somethin-somethin on the side. Beauty does not give you a free pass for cheating. Isn't infidelity a no-no?
Apparently here it's not. And that disgusts me. As I sit and write this, I feel the rage bubbling up. Seriously, you chose to be in a relationship. If you want to put your manstick in every female that passes by, FINE, but for God's sake, don't do it while your innocent girlfriend sits at home waiting for you to return and watch Leap Year with her! Example: A couple of weeks ago I met a friend of a friend at a lunch. We did introductions, and I learned that he had a girlfriend. Now, a week or so later, I went to dinner with a group of people, this new guy included. It was fun, we had a few bottles of wine, and all of a sudden I noticed that new guy was getting veryyyyy cuddly with the girl next to him. A girl that was NOT his girlfriend. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and thought that maybe, just maybe, they were cousins or something.
By the end of the meal, however, the cousins idea was shot down. Well, that is, unless they were from Indiana. Their touchy-touchy had gotten so shameless that I'm pretty sure they were openly making plans about whose apartment to go back to.
THAT IS EFF-ED UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Conniving, mean, selfish, disgusting man. Oh so beautiful though.
Example 2. I met someone recently whose company I enjoyed. As a friend. Didn't even consider dating potential. Friend Zone. We went out for drinks and I suddenly realized that he was maybe hitting on me. Not the drunk, indiscreet american way, but the charming, make your heart melt french way. That's the thing with these damn French. They're all really, REALLY good at putting on the charm. They could make Janet Reno or Miranda from SATC crack.
So, back to the non-friend friend. I thought that he was a friend-zone guy, but he was quickly trying to advance out of that area. Connard. I can't believe after being tricked by those sly bastards so many times I didn't just tell him to go shove it in his french b-hole. But I didn't. Highlights of the night--roughly translated--include:
"You must be the most beautiful girl in America"
"Your eyes are magnificent"
"I just can't believe how lucky I am to be talking to such a beautiful girl"
Okay--I know you are all choking on your own vomit right now because let's face it, if an american guy in a bar said this to you, you'd either crotch kick him or spew in his face. But dear God, in french, it's almost like little angels are singing in your ears. I'm not even joking. A french man has the power to make you feel like the most amazing female specimen on earth. He tells you how cute and sexy and wonderful you are and sweet Jesus is it convincing.
But I digress. So after about the fifteenth "tu es vraiment jolie, ca me fait plaisir de rencontrer une tellement jolie americaine", I got the impression that he was into me.
And let's face it, I didn't mind the flattery.
So the next day we hung out and it was the same deal when suddenly a horrifying realization came over me. I remembered that a mutual friend of ours had once discussed this guy's girlfriend. Despite the fact that I wanted this beau frenchman to continue stroking my arm, I painstakingly ripped it away and asked if he still had this girlfriend I had once heard about.
He started laughing.
WAS THAT A FUNNY QUESTION? DO YOU THINK INFIDELITY IS FUNNY? WOULD YOUR GIRLFRIEND THINK IT WAS FUNNY TO SEE YOU STROKING MY ARM LIKE A FRICKING DOG?!?!?!?!
Gritting my teeth I said "SO? Do you?" His response? "You don't know how many times she has kicked me out of the house".
Excuse me sir, but I'm looking for a yes or no.
And just like that, my very, VERY last hope in the french male population was dashed.
You want to know what's worse? For about a day I justified his shit behavior. I even spent the rest of the day with him AND texted him.
Once he had gotten home though, he didn't text back. Oh yea, that's right, YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND.
I feel like I myself am just as responsible. I let him get away with that terrible, terrible crap. And you know what? He's not the first to admit that he has a girlfriend. Are these girls as stupid as me or do they know and not care? Or worse, know and pretend like it's not happening? On a serious note, I think someone needs to hold french men accountable for their behavior. Saying "oh, it's a cultural thing" is a poor excuse in my opinion for completely inexcusable behavior.
And that's enough of my feminist rant. I will say that there are some really wonderful french guys out there! My friend Kate has been lucky enough to find the 1 in 100,000 nice, loyal men in this sex-crazed city.
I could write about my vacation, but I've exhausted my writing capabilities for the day. Plus, I think I may have broken the keyboard with my rage.
Some french infidelity articles:
posted by Dani at
Thursday, May 06, 2010
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