Lithium

I've been less than motivated these last few weeks. It's winter (read: cold, cloudy, rainy), school SUCKS, and I miss home (Note: this is me complaining)! Maybe I have Seasonal Affective Disorder. For anyone under the illusion that life in glamorous Paris is...glamorous, let me shed a little light.

My life is dreadddddfully normal. To the point of painful. For example: this morning I made the kids breakfast, unloaded the dishwasher, reloaded the dishwasher, saw them off to school, and came home. I can't go in to the city today because Zoe has a half-day. So what am I doing? Tidying the kitchen, reading a cookbook, making homemade spaghetti sauce. Gag. It wouldn't be so bad if this was the first time doing this. But it's not. On days when it's too rainy or I'm too lazy to go to Paris, I comfort myself the only way I know how. With food. I cook anything and everything (and if you have an image of me sitting alone and devouring a sheet of cookies...well I'm not that pathetic...yet. I cook for the family!!) I can now make mouthwatering homemade brownies (not that box crap), a savory poulet basquaise, wild mushroom soup, stuffed tomatoes, tarte tatin, and the list goes on. All without recipes.

As you can see, my brain is aching to be used...and no, I didn't ever think I would say that. I can now relate to all of those 1960's lithium-drugged housewives; I too find myself laughing at anything (or nothing), going home early "to do laundry", making pies, and perpetually cleaning something. The only thing wrong with this picture is that while doing all of this I'm not pleasantly high on Lithium!!! Kidding.

So I came here to learn french, and I am, I can't complain about that. But I need an outlet. Something to do with myself besides reading the Escoffier (France's cooking Bible), visiting museums and seeing movies. I unfortunately have to go back to school next semester--I stopped going this semester because it was painfully easy, painfully long, and a general waste of time--but I know that's not going to satisfy me either. So I'm on a search...for something...anything....all ideas welcome.

And that's the state of affairs. Sorry if that was a downer but I had to vent to someone! Don't worry about me though, I'm never unhappy, just unsatisfied.

In more normal news, I came across the most anti-american french person yet this weekend. And she was five. After Eliott's birthday party, Zoe had a friend come spend the night. This girl absolutely hated my guts. And for no reason other than my nationality. I swear! At dinner she told me that I was mean (I hadn't yet said anything to her), to go home, to leave France, to clear my plate and go to my room, and that I was not allowed to live here anymore. Talk about a verbal assault. Unfortunately, fighting with a five year old is a bit...juvenile, and I kept quiet (wasn't easy...). Who knows what inspired such hatred from such a (deceivingly) cute child...all I know is that she won't be coming back here anytime soon.

Well--it's the heure de chercher Zoe at school...yippppeeee.

Until next week.